Who cares?

A few days ago the news broke that two twenty-something year olds of limited achievement are engaged to be married. Surprisingly, the news sent waves beyond their immediate families. And I am not talking about Auntie Rose or Uncle Dermot. I am talking worldwide audiences. As you will have guessed by now, I am referring to Will & Kate.

At first I didn't pay it much attention. After a while I realised W&K were dominating the news cycle, and then taking over the national agenda. The first question that came to mind was: "Who cares?" or, to be honest, "Who the f*** cares?". Not me and naturally I assumed none of my friends. Boy did I get that one wrong. You see, every conservation I had this weekend started with the words: "What do you think about the Royal wedding?"

So, let's examine this a bit further. It could be that my friends think I am interested and are playing to the audience. Well, that means they don't know me at all, which is a bit worrying. Maybe they think I have a general interest in current affairs and are therefore discussing it in the same way they would mention Tiananmen Square. Well, whilst this is a complement, it would mean that they think too highly of me which implies that don't know me well enough, and we are back at square one. Another option is that they have run out of things to talk with me about. Well, that could be because (a) they think I am dull - true indeed, but something I hoped would take them longer to realise - or (b) that they themselves are, which would reflect badly on me and is, therefore, an unthinkable. The only possible explanation, having scientifically ruled out all other theorys, is that they are genuinely interested in the topic.

So, the answer to the question: "Who the f*** cares?" is simple: everybody!

The real question, however, is "Why?", and I think I have the answer. It is not that everybody is a Royalist. Most people are not. It is not because people believe in the divine right of the kings; they don't. Nor is it because of an allegiance to the sovereign. The reason is, once again, simple; W&K are interesting because they are red-hot juicy celebrity gossip. What differentiates them from Jordan & Peter is that they are legit, bottom shelf, BBC News, Guardian-front-page celebrity gossip. J&P are much more accomplished and probably more interesting people than W&K. Different to J&P, however, you can read about W&K without feeling embarrassed.

Which brings me to the following conclusion: everyone is interested in celebrity gossip, they are simply too embarrassed admit it. Like artistic nude photo books, W&K find themselves on the same coffee tables of educated, middle class people, which would never see an OK, News of the World or a porn magazines. As is clear from the interest in W&K, however, we would all love to see them there.

PS 940km down. 60km to go.

PS2 Apologies to MGF M. The cake from yesterday's blog-post is not a poor-man's 36-egger, it is made with 48 eggs. My sincere apologies.