To vent or not to vent?

Our house is divided, straight down the middle, on a very important question: "what should one do if someone close to them upsets them?" MBH comes from a long and thick line of psychotherapists. Talking about it, whatever 'it' happens to be is the default answer. I come from a much longer line of "if-it-ain't-nice-don't-say-it" believers. Their God is Freud, ours is . . . well, common sense.

Now, in theory, I get the "it's-good-to-talk" perspective. In theory, not only does it allow the cathartic joys of venting one's anger and frustrations, it actually resolves issues. Now that's all good, assuming the person on the other end is properly equipped: i.e. they can and want to listen as well as take criticism constructively. Unfortunately, more often than not, in my experience, most people are not of this ilk. Once the venting is over you end up, at best, with a torrent of abuse coming your way, at worse, with deadly silence and eternal grudge bearing.

So, what is it? To vent or not to vent? Is that the question? Hell no. That's only where it starts. You see, adhering to the "if-it-ain't . . ." school of thought is not only a life choice, it is, in the eyes of the "it's-good-to-talk" school an admission of guilt - obviously you cannot listen and or take criticism. All of which leaves me in a catch-22, which makes me increasingly angry and frustrated yet, to be absolutely clearly, I do NOT want to talk about it!

PS 920km down. 80km to go.