Bickering

MFBD: "It's my chair! I always sit here. Move. I said move."
MBS: "Dada, she's pushing me".
Me: "Come on, there are 3 more chairs around the table. Go sit on one of them."
MFBD, pushing MBS: "No. It's my chair!"
Me: "Go to your room!"
MFBD runs to her room crying, slamming the door behind her.

We love our families so much and yet we end up spending so much time bickering. The thing is, though, we never bicker with anyone outside our families. I will never, ever, talk to anyone the way I sometimes talk to MBH. [Now I know you find it hard to believe, but it is, unfortunately, true. As unimaginable is it may be, I am, sometimes, less than pleasant. In fact, I can be, and am, rather obnoxious. I sometimes manage to hear myself talking and sink into deep shame].

But why? Why do end up fighting and bickering with the people we love most? And, more importantly, can we stop?

Well, as to why, I have two reasons. First, because we care. All the things that annoy me about my family I would consider hilarious in anyone else. When someone at work says something annoying I smile and think to myself "what an idiot". When it is my wife . . . .

The second reason, is that we are confident our actions and reactions will not have a lasting impact on our relationships with our family. My kids are stuck with me for life! There is nothing I can say that will de-father me. And as obnoxious as I may be, and am, they still love me.

But, can we stop it? Unfortunately, the answer to this question is hidden in the previous answer. Yes. But only if we stop caring. To stop we need to distance ourselves from our loved ones to the point they, and we, no longer are. And we definitely don't want that. Do we? So, let the bickering continue! Just, maybe, not so often . . . . .

PS 370km down. 630km to go